Game wrap up - Blues vs Power

The St. Louis Blues won a difficult game against Kansas City on Saturday, due in no small part to the brilliant on-the-fly coaching decisions of Bench Coach D-1, who was manning the sideline because of a devastating injury that would have rendered lesser men bedridden, or at least curled up sucking their thumbs.  Many of the Blues players have been saying for years that they want D-1 to retire, no doubt because they do not want to do without his peerless coaching during the game.  It's hard to say what the final score would have been without D-1, but the need for his input was obvious in the final score.  The Blues managed to walk off with a 100-13 victory.

The lineup from the last time these two teams played was markedly different from the squad that sauntered out for the ruck on Saturday.  Missing this past weekend were John Molnar "Larry and Curly," Dan "Riblet" Sergott, Jason "Birds and Bees" Goodger, Daryl "The Canadien" Butler, "Kevin" Diet Gaffney, Christopher "Hurrah For The Red And The Blue" Carroll, and D "The Coach" -1.  Who'da thunk it?

The Archers got off quick, leading 35-0 after the first term.  They had a slow second stanza, but lead 44-0 at the big break and made it 68-7 after the premiership quarter.  And the benching nuances were just beginning.So-called President Jim "Yes, I Know Why" Martin knows why he was benched, again and again and again.  And so does Steve "Dukes" Aderholt.  But the game wasn't only about benching.

Colin "Goldilocks, Or Papa Bear?" Carroll managed to notch his first goal, and was hustling all game long.  Although for the second game in a row almost anyone on the Blues could rightfully be awarded the most sought after award in all of footy (anyone, that is, except for Michael "Film Boy" Gaffney), Papa Bear earned himself the Match Report One-Percenter Award.  Papa Bear's first career goal moment was share with Luke "I Am Your Father,"who got his first goal in his first game.

In the meantime, the Best Dead To Me On Ground Award goes to Dan "Definitely Goldilocks" Sarbacker, who never stopped running, but earned the award mostly because of the integral part he played in Kansas City's first goal.  Nice job, jerko.  The mark of the day goes to Dukes, who got his mittens up high for a beautiful grab and paid the price getting his legs taken out from under him.  Unfortunately, he also received Honorable Mention Worst Shank on the ensuing try for goal.  Worst Shank Award goes to Dave "Obtuse" Leipholtz who managed to miss from (give or take) eight meters out by kicking a ball with an angle of trajectory something in excess of 360 degrees.

Brad "Niekro" Coultas had another fine day at ruck and managed to goal two more knuckle balls.  His point total was outdone, though, by Dan "Show Me The Bench" Kocka, who joined three majors with four, count 'em, four, behinds.  As he was running into the goal square about to kick his final six, Show Me showed Pete Chung the ball before sending it through for six, earning himself the last of his many benchings on the day.

The KC game saw the return of the quiet and humble Joseph "Shchwayahouhhh" Schomaker, and Shoe did not disappoint, scoring two goals, giving away only one hand-pass directly to the opposing man and getting called for only one penalty.  It seemed that all the forwards got a score or two.  Dukes and Obtuse each added goals to their shanks, and even the Australians managed to contribute.  Adams "Ads" Ellison had a goal, and Phil "No Wing" Brereton slotted two majors (only one of them stolen from a teammate) and even hand passed off a mark within range to unselfishly hand out a goal to one of his teammates and later avoided stealing another goal from one of his fellow half forwards.  The handball led to some uncharacteristic attempts at continuing unselfish play, which put Wing right off his game as he started handballing out of bounds and kicking out on the full.  The result?  You guessed it: he got benched.  "Lesson learned," Wing said.  "You won't see me not being selfish anymore.  I owe it to the team."  [Translation provided by Austral-St. Louis Liaison Office.]

As the score indicates, the defense had a magnificent game, although, truth be told, they did not have a whole lot of opportunities.  No surprisingly, when the ball was not in the Blues forward line, the midfield controlled it and got things moving back up field.  Goldilocks had several nice runs with the ball and Andrew "All Practice" Buchanan had a lovely two-bounce run and many fine disposals.

Together with Matt "Marriage Capital" Hans, Dan Imal, and Gaffo at the far back taking marks and hitting men, Matt "Cutter" Jagger's half back line controlled the ball when it had to and the Blues cruised to victory.  But not before Andrew "The Hair That Won The West" Glass managed to rock up to the ground with about 6 minutes 57 seconds remaining in the game.  Whoo, that was a breath of fresh air.  Footy, yeah, that's the game.

Goals:
Dan Kocka (3), Brad Coultas (2), Joe Schomaker (2), Phil Brereton (2), Steve Aderholt, Dave Leipholtz, Adam Ellison, Luke Skywalker, Dan Sarbacker, Colin Carroll
 

- Benjamin Lipman
(497)