Wrap Up of Arizona's Footy Legends

Throngs of avid footy fans gathered along the boundary of the pristine paddock of McQueen Park hoping to get a glimpse of one of the Arizona Footy Legends. These footy juggernauts assembled to once again thrill and electrify their devoted supporters with feats of footy brilliance. Elated spectators squealed in delight as the Legends donned the throwback strip of the Phoenix Scorpions once again. That, as it turned out, was not the most disturbing occurrence of the day. Trust me.

It didn’t take long for the talk along the boundary to turn to the legendary exploits of Phoenix Scorpions and AZAFL days of yore. Fans clung to every word as the players spoke of the epic road trips and on-field clash of the footy Titans in the USFooty early years. Fortunately for the Legends, there was no photographic evidence or sworn affidavits which would challenge their tales of conquest and accomplishment.

Understandably, the Lady Hawks watched the pre-game rituals of the Legends with awe and trepidation. The ladies were heard to comment, “they look so intimidating and nimble”, “their kicks are like laser beams”, and “do you think one of them will break a hip when they try to run?”. As expected, those thoughts ran through the mind of all who were about to witness this much anticipated footy spectacle. 

From the initial instructions from the Umpies, Adam Smark and Drew Reidy, the ladies were cautioned on the renowned skill and techniques of the Legends. Smark was overheard telling the Lady Hawks, “these old geezers will stop at nothing to win, if you have to, kick their walkers out from under them to gain advantage. There is nothing in the Laws of Football regarding such tactics.” Sage advice, now that I think about it.

Dave “Clean” Haydon was intended to be the first Legend to touch the footy on the opening ruck. However, since his sense of timing had deteriorated to that of a sundial and vertical leap couldn’t get him over a chalk line, Tina “Spike” Arend cleanly (no pun intended) tapped the ball into the waiting hands of on-ballers Christina “Skeeter” Licata and Courtney “Dash” NoLastNameGiven. A miss handled punch-out sent the red pill into the hands of Scorps rover Rodney “Minimal” Drinen. Minimal pushed the ball into the forward zone where Danny “Ponch” Elias sent through the first major of the day. The Legends pushed the ball up into their forward zone again with another successful 6-point conversion by AZAFL icon Dave “JD” Marli, his first of two opening quarter goals. The goal of the day may have been, however, the left-footer snapped off, under hard pressure, on the sharp angle left, into the wind by John “Pops” Meier. Remarkable, impressive, phenomenal were some words heard to describe his unforgettable goal. Also heard was, “it went off his knee” and “there’s no way he meant to do that”.

Actually, goal of the day was the rifle shot kicked by Lady Hawks Ruckman Tina Arend from just outside the center square which took a fortunate bounce and sailed through for six.

Rob “Berto” McCandless, who stunned onlookers by not getting injured before the match began, chose to collect his goal in traditional Scorps fashion, which is one point at a time. A little known fact is that the ’01 Scorps hold the USAFL National Tournament Record for Behinds, Clangers and hangovers. Late in the final period, Berto achieved his objective to the delight of teammates and opponents alike. Also showing himself to be in 2000 form was Sam “Yabbie” Conrad. Conrad, whose accolades include, first Scorpions Coach and Spiritual Guide, first Scorps player to record a goal and write a team song in the same game, Jagermeister aficionado, Caterwauls bassist and Phoenix Coyotes Season Ticket Holder. Ted “Detlef” Burr and Dan “Biker” Noblitt both showed they still had the same, exact footy skill they once exhibited as Scorpions.

In the second half, the Lady Hawks made a run at the Legends with strong performances by Karla Mascaranas-Pack and Pam Joy adding goals for their side. Audra Woodward and Danica performed well on the Lady Hawks back line, limiting more Legends scoring opportunities.

All in all, the score didn’t matter at the end of the match. The Legends had a great time having a run with their mates once again.  We are grateful to the Lady Hawks for giving us another great day of Arizona Footy. Clearly these talented women are a force to be reckoned with in Australian Football.

The highlight of the day was the awarding of the first Phoenix Australian Football Club Life Member Award to Andrew “Floyd” Ashworth. Pretty Boy Floyd, as named by charter Scorpion player Eric “Gunny” Palmer, started our club with a few friends back in September of 1999. We had so many players out for a run in that first year that not everyone could get any game time. It was Floyd’s concept of Metro Footy that gave everyone, regardless of skill or experience, a chance to play our great game.  Metro Footy is now played, in one form or another, by nearly every USAFL club. Thanks heaps, Floyd!

Participating Legends
4   Danny “Ponch” Elias
6   Brad “Porkchop” Palumbo
7   Rodney “Minimal” Drinen
11 Matt “Matty” Burke
18 Rob “Berto” McCandless
20 Andrew “Floyd” Ashworth
22 Brett “Seamus” Boyd
25 Dan “Biker” Noblitt
26 Eric “Hitch’ Hitchcock
27 Ted “Detlef” Burr
29 Neil “Dilfy” Dilts
35 Dave “Clean” Haydon
37 John “Pops” Meier
38 Sam “Yabbie” Conrad
40 Dave “JD” Marli

- John "Pops" Meier
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